The 3 Questions I Ask Before I Say Yes

Creating aligned commitments in a world full of noise

Let’s be honest:
Saying “yes” is easy.

It can feel generous.
It can feel productive.
It can feel expected.

But too many yeses (why does “yeses” look weird?)… anyway… too many yeses—especially the wrong ones—can cost us our peace, our energy, and even our identity.

At some point, I had to learn:
Not every opportunity is my opportunity.
Not every good thing is my thing.

So I stopped asking, “Can I fit this in?”
And started asking three deeper, soul-aligned questions instead.

Question 1: Does this align with my purpose, priorities, and season?

This is my centering question.

I’ve said yes to things that sounded amazing—on paper.
But when I stepped back, I realized they were wildly out of sync with what actually matters to me in this season.

You can’t move forward with clarity if you’re saying yes from a place of confusion.

Instead of asking “Could I do this?”
Ask:

• Does this fit the season I’m in?

• Does it serve the mission I’m on?

• Does it match the person I’m becoming?

• It is also okay to ask yourself… do I want to do this?

If the answer’s “not really,” then it’s probably a no—with love.

Question 2: What is the cost of this yes?

Every yes comes with a trade.

When you say yes to one thing, you’re saying no to something else—often your energy, time, rest, or creativity.

This isn’t about guilt.
It’s about honesty.

Ask:

• What will this yes require of me?

• What am I willing to give up for it?

• Will I still have space for what matters most?

Sometimes the cost is worth it.
Sometimes it’s not.
Either way—you deserve to make that decision with your eyes open.

Question 3: Am I saying yes from love—or from fear, pressure, or ego?

This is the big one.

Sometimes we say yes because:

• We don’t want to disappoint anyone.

• We’re afraid of missing out.

• We want to prove something.

• We’re chasing validation.

• We feel like we “should.”

But a soul-aligned yes never comes from scarcity or fear.
It comes from love, clarity, and purpose.

When I pause to ask this question, I can feel it in my body.
If the yes feels light, clear, and true—it’s probably aligned.
If it feels tight, foggy, or heavy—it’s probably not.

Your body knows. Your soul knows.
Give them room to speak.

What Happens When You Practice This?

You start making fewer but fuller commitments.
You stay more rooted in your own center.
You show up with your whole heart—because you chose it.

You begin to trust yourself.
Not because you do it all—but because you do the right things for the right reasons.

Final Thought

The world will give you a thousand chances to say yes.
But you don’t owe your energy to everything and everyone.

You owe it to your purpose.
To your integrity.
To your peace.

So the next time an invitation, opportunity, or ask comes your way—pause.

Ask the questions.

And say yes like you mean it.